You are viewing this site in staging mode. Click in this bar to return to normal site.

How Should the Church Tackle the Loneliness in Our Society?

20 February 2018 10:34

If Jesus came to "proclaim good news to the poor, and freedom for the prisoners, to recover sight for the blind, and to set the oppressed free", why is loneliness endemic in our society? As a Christian, it's a question that I have been asking myself over the past few weeks and one that I wish to encourage Churches to consider.

What is loneliness and what is its cause?

Loneliness can be defined as "a situation where there is an unpleasant or inadmissible lack of (quality of) certain relationships." This can be because you have fewer relationships than you want, or there is a lack of intimacy in the relationships. As a result, you feel isolated and therefore lonely.

Loneliness is on the increase in our society and has now been shown to have a deleterious effect on our health, is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, or even being an alcoholic. And it is not just a condition of the elderly, middle-aged men also suffer from loneliness finding themselves with fewer friends as they age, and in a recent survey being alone was one of the greatest concerns of young people.

The cause of loneliness has been linked to the breakdown of our society. We are designed to live in communities with others, and we thrive in these environments. However, with the emphasis in the West on materialism and individualism, there is pressure to work longer hours, commute further, and have a certain standard of living. And with this has come to a rise in the cost of living that unfortunately has perpetuated the need to earn money, and sadly this has increased the gap in society between rich and poor isolating individuals even more.

What should we do as churches to tackle loneliness?

If loneliness is caused by a lack of quality relationships then the Church should have the answer. In the Bible, Jesus proclaimed His mission, and Christians have been trying to continue it ever since. However, for us to be successful in reaching the lonely within our communities we need to consider the following:

1. Preaching the Gospel so that the congregation can experience Christ's love for themselves.
That sounds simple! Proclaiming and explaining the Gospel should help people to understand not only Christ's sacrifice, but that they are loved in spite of themselves. Head knowledge is one thing, but once we know the truth in our hearts of God's incredible love and acceptance of us, we are changed and are able to love others in spite of ourselves.

2. Creating an environment where we love people from the heart. Our churches have to set a culture where loving others as we love ourselves is paramount in all that we do. This has to start from the top and cascade down. Understandably this is difficult because we all have our own agendas, but once we recognise what Jesus laid down His life for us, it is easier to lay down our wants and put others first. 

We also need to look beyond ourselves and have the confidence to ask other people how they are. That is not always easy, but loneliness can only be counteracted if we are prepared to become more intimate with others and to share more of our own lives with people, even if there is a cost to us from doing this.

3. Providing opportunities for relationships to be built. As churches, we need to encourage activities that facilitate the opportunities for relationships to grow. This might be via home groups, men's groups, women's groups, youth activities, church meals, days out, church and community projects, prayer and worship times, and even holidays. And we would strongly recommend that your elders/ministers lead by example. If your church leader doesn't want to experience life with his congregation then that is the agenda that he or she will set, and trying to establish a different culture will be difficult.

4. How do we reach the lonely in our community? The Bible says that God sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68), and it is in this context that the church has the advantage. As a body of believers with a common purpose, the church can be family. We should be a place where people can be made to feel welcomed, loved, accepted, where tears are wiped away, hurts healed, and hope given.

So in practice what should the church be doing?

  • Encourage your congregation to connect with people "on their doorstep." That means trying to love and care for those in your immediate family, friends, and acquaintance circle. This might be as simple as sitting and listening to them (difficult if it is a family member, but so much more is achieved when we actually understand where a person is coming from); having someone around for a coffee; popping a plant round; inviting someone round for dinner or lunch; or simply ringing someone to see how they are.
  • Encourage your congregation to connect with people outside their normal circle of relationships and look to actively serve that person.
  • See what the local needs of your community are and seek to meet at least one of them. You might already have an idea what the problems in your community are, but why not meet with local health professionals, local schools, your local council, or the police to see what you as a church could support them in. By engaging with the marginals in your community, and being Jesus to them, you may well be helping them to feel less lonely.
  • Organise groups or events and invite your community to them. Maybe a bbq, or a Christmas fair, or a Sunday lunch for those on their own.
  • Be found on the internet, and reflect the love that you have as a church. It is essential that your website works on mobile as over 70% of people access information this way, and that your site looks engaging and current. Your website is your window to the world so make sure that it is of the same standard as the world's, otherwise, you will have put a hurdle up to someone engaging with you that doesn't need to be there.
  • Model something different on social platforms by engaging in social media in a way that encourages actual relationships. Social media is where people tend to gather now for information and friendship. However, these types of relationships are generally superficial, but these social platforms are great starting places to encourage people to get to know your church better.

Conclusion

Studies have shown that the majority of people come to faith through friends or family. With loneliness being endemic in our society today it is perhaps time for the Church to stop navel gazing and to start looking at befriending those who are in need of a friend. In this way, we will perhaps see new growth in the Church and the healing of our society that we all long for.

 

References

De Jong Gierveld. July 1987. Developing and Testing a Model of Loneliness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Vol 53 (1).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42887932

Mental Health Foundation - The Lonely Society?


Back to All News Stories